Review of “Cinderella Ate My Daughter” by Peggy Orenstein

Orenstein asks what the long-term consequences are of the pink/princess/hottie culture for little girls (albeit basically white and middle-to-upper class little girls). This is a subject that has been covered in depth in academic books and articles, but it is good to see this important topic presented for a wider audience.

As Orenstein explains:

“According to the American Psychological Association, the girlie-girl culture’s emphasis on beauty and play-sexiness can increase girls’ vulnerability to the pitfalls that most concern parents: depression, eating disorders, distorted body image, risky sexual behavior.”

She notes some disturbing statistics, indicating that the number of girls who fret over their looks and weight are rising, as are rates of depression and suicide. By middle school, she reports, “how a girl feels about her appearance – particularly whether she is thin enough, pretty enough, and hot enough – has become the single most important determinant of her self-esteem.” [my emphasis]. In 2008, nearly 43,000 children under age eighteen surgically altered their appearance. Another 8,200 in this age group received Botox injections!

She explores the effects of the Disney Empire – not only the princess look, but the princess philosophy and how compelling it is. She quotes Laura Miller in Salon who observes:

“The traditional feminine fantasy of being delivered from obscurity by a dazzling, powerful man, of needing to do no more to prove or find yourself than win his devotion, of being guarded from all life’s vicissitudes by his boundless strength and wealth — all this turns out to be a difficult dream to leave behind.”

A nice dream perhaps, but only a fantasy that doesn’t prepare girls for real life.

Orenstein also contemplates dolls and pop stars and role models, and the effects of online social networking. She cites studies suggesting that young adults who spend a lot of time online are being much more self-involved, which in turn is associated with “difficulty in maintaining romantic relationships, dishonesty, and lack of empathy.” Further, more than half of young people have reported experiencing digital abuse from social media.

She concludes that mothers cannot keep the world away from their daughters, but they can prepare their daughters for what is out there, so they can cope with it. The best weapon, she avers, is discussing the issues forthrightly: the images, the products, the dangers, and presenting our own values and limits early.

Evaluation: This short book is one I think would be of benefit to any relatively privileged mother who has young girls at home. Although Orenstein has a daughter who is part Asian, there still is very little coverage of the effects of the phenomenon she describes on young girls of color, and no discussion at all about young girls mired in poverty. These girls struggle both with being too visible and invisible; an overlay of pink cannot paint out race and class.

Furthermore, you can keep your daughter away from the Disney magic all you want, but eventually she’s going to get old enough to learn that she lives in an androcentric culture, and that her “value” may well depend on submissive behavior, sexy dressing, and redefining her “childish” goals to conform to the reality of societal conventions and stereotypes not conducive to the independence and achievement she may have once thought possible.

Nevertheless, the issues that are covered by this book provide a lot of food for thought. It would make an excellent choice for a book club.

Rating: 3/5

Published by Harper, 2011