Review of “Blood Oath” by Christopher Farnsworth

The plot outline of Blood Oath didn’t seem too outrageous, and even struck me as clever: the President has a vampire as part of his secret service. But alas, it quickly went over the top: a vampire was only the tip of the paranormal iceberg. We got werewolves, aliens, reconstituted dead bodies, Evil Muslim Jihadis and even – gasp – Nazis!

There were some redeeming parts in the book: some of the characters were quite likeable, even humorous. I also liked the fake “briefing book” outlining the purported characteristics of vampires, parts of which were cited at the beginning of each chapter.

And then there were the other not so redeeming parts. Tania’s tension “dropped off her like a cheap coat.” Wow – could something that hackneyed have been used tongue in cheek, I hope? Verbs in the sex scene: lapping, arching, bucking, rocking, thrusting, writhing – the author must have had the erotica thesaurus out! Jihadis who learned devil worship in the madrassah? This takes anti-Islam propaganda to a new low. And last but far from least, the Evil Nazi who creates Unmenschsoldaten – i.e., virtually indestructible killing machines – made out of dead body parts stolen from American soldiers killed in the line of duty! (The scene of Evil Muslims assembling the body parts for the Evil Nazi would have been even better if it had been on Christmas Eve, and they were struggling with the instructions that came in five different languages…)

Evaluation: Even if you’re looking for a mindless read, I would advise skipping this one. But that’s of course just my opinion. Lots of others loved this book.

Rating: 1.5/5

Published by Putnam Adult, 2010

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24 Responses to Review of “Blood Oath” by Christopher Farnsworth

  1. Jennifer says:

    I’m sorry this was such a dud for you. I loved it.

  2. Staci says:

    I think you took the wrong drug to enjoy this one!! 😀 lol!! I thought just by the synopsis that it may be a dud…thanks for letting us know that it truly is. And next time remember your words of advice and take a nap!!

  3. Steph says:

    It’s a sad day when a nap trumps books… but then again, I’ve been there! Not with the bone spurs, but writing a dissertation is hard work and sometimes when you need a break, only sleep will do!

  4. Margot says:

    Just the other day I was thinking that you haven’t read a bad book lately. I so enjoy it when you have a bad one. But 1.5 is pretty low and to have it in the middle of pain is not a good thing.

    I’ve never heard of bone spurs before but the mental image the term gives me is mentally painful. Just to see the image of a cowboy’s spurs running up and down your spine, is horrid. I can see why napping is preferable. If it were me, I’d swear off any hard work altogether. Pamper yourself, Jill.

  5. bermudaonion says:

    I think you need to leave the pick-axe alone! Sorry you didn’t like the book – I don’t think I would either. You did make me laugh when you said “Reader (or on a good day, Readers),” because that is so not true – tons of people love your blog!

  6. Julie P. says:

    Sounds like you might have needed the drugs to get through this one! LOL!

  7. Trisha says:

    I can’t say whether or not I’ll read the book, but this was a great review. I love the humor!

  8. Barbara says:

    I think I’d have to be on drugs to even attempt this one. Hate vampires! You’re OK though, loved your description of the evil Nazis trying to assemble something on Christmas Eve. That’ll do ’em in! 😀

    Seriously, I have back problems too so I sincerely hope you’ll be pain free soon. I think you need to rule out the pickaxe forever.

  9. Emily says:

    Holy awkward political messaging, Batman! I would definitely feel weirded out by the Evil Muslim Jihadists element of this book, even leaving aside any of its more literary issues. Yikes.

    Feel better soon!

  10. zibilee says:

    This review was hilarious! I have this one on my pile, and I have been eyeing it warily. After reading your review I am thinking that I am going to need to read this one with a lot of caution! Thanks for making me laugh today, your review was wonderful!

  11. Sandy says:

    I don’t know whether to laugh or cry! Bone spurs on your SPINE? Crap, that sounds awful! Vampires in the White House? That sounds even more awful. I think we all owe you a beer for reading this, and suffering through it, for us so we don’t have to.

  12. stacybuckeye says:

    Hope you’re feeling better. This book sounds like it has a few too many weird things going on for me. One vampire in the White House? Okay. All the other stuff? No thanks!

  13. Nymeth says:

    A lot about this book has me going “EEk”, but thank you for the laugh 😀 Though like Sandy, I’m not completely sure if I should be laughing or crying.

  14. Ti says:

    I love the disclaimer but I’m sorry you jarred yourself enough to need it. What were you doing? Trying to reach the cookie jar on that high, high shelf? Get it? Jar, Jarred… hahahahaha.

    I was hoping that your disclaimer had something to do with writing the review in a highly medicated state. I have yet to try that one myself.

  15. Jenners says:

    Ouch … bone spurs on the spine!??? That sounds horrific!!! And any kind of gardening that requires a pickaxe is a type of gardening that I don’t want to do.

    This book sounds like a mess … even if you were under the influence at the time. Hope you’re feeling better!

  16. Marie says:

    Ouch! Oh my.

  17. Doret says:

    Thanks for this. Now when I see customers with this book in their hand I can warn them.

    Though I will probably snatch it out of this hands because of the anti-Islam propaganda

    And if someone wants to take religion out of it “Tania’s tension “dropped off her like a cheap coat” – is snatch worthy as well.

    erotica thesaurus – very funny. Did you actually finish the book?

  18. softdrink says:

    Ouchie on the bone spurs! And look at all those readerssssssssssssssssss!!

  19. Valerie says:

    Oh my. Sounds so bizarre. Maybe the author was on some kind of drug himself while writing this book!

  20. I’m so you were disappointed. I’m intrigued by the premise, but I don’t think I could read those sex scenes. LOL

  21. Meg says:

    Oh boy… I’ll stay far, far away!

  22. Jenny says:

    Owwww, poor you! But your review made me giggle. 🙂

  23. Oh no! I’m sorry you didn’t like this one. I loved it! And ouch!? Bone spurs on your spine…egads!

    • Dave says:

      I read this book and thought it was poorly written and filled with laughable cliches. It also borrows many of it’s ideas from better books.

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