Don’t despair, faithful blog readers! I’m almost done with this series!

This review does not have spoilers, but Book Six in the Sookie Stackhouse romance-mystery-vampire series definitely does: it is full of revelations about the characters and events taking place in the previous five books.

Sookie Stackhouse, the hottie waitress in Bon Temps, Louisiana, finds herself still without a beau. Bill, the vampire who is her ex-boyfriend, is dating someone else. Alcid, the werewolf who claimed to love her, is now also dating someone else. Eric, the powerful ex-Viking vampire, is not speaking to her. At least Quinn, the powerful weretiger, seems very interested, although Sookie no longer trusts her instincts when it comes to men.

Meanwhile, the vampire queen of Louisiana is about to make a political marriage with the vampire king of Arkansas, and Sookie is involved, since it turns out that her dead cousin Hadley had become a vampire and had a relationship with the queen. And as usual, someone is trying to kill Sookie, and she doesn’t know who or why.

Evaluation: This book is a must-read for fans of the series, since the truth comes out about all sorts of aspects of the plot. As Hamlet said to Horatio, “”There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
 Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” And this is the volume in which you’ll find out about them! The book even starts with a vignette in which Harris pokes fun at romance novels in general. She’s a witty, clever writer, no doubt about it!

Rating: 3.9/5

Husband Report: True recapitulation of conversation: Jim: What! Vampires AGAIN?!!! … Are you getting enough protein?

Since we have no travel plans for Thanksgiving, I decided to join in on the “Thankfully Reading Weekend” hosted by Jenn at Jenn’s Bookshelves.

Here’s how it works, from the post on Jenn’s blog:

When: Friday, November 27-Sunday, November 29

Why: Three full days off equals quality reading time!

How: Read at your leisure during the Thanksgiving weekend.

There are no rules to the weekend and no prizes. We’re hoping to devote a good amount of time to reading and perhaps meeting some of our reading challenges and goals for 2009. We thought it’d be fun if we cheered each other on a bit.

We’ll also be checking in on Twitter using hashtag #thankfulreading. Join in for the weekend or for only a single day. No rules, no pressure!

To sign up for Thankfully Reading Weekend, please visit the Book Blog Social Club!

I’ll be using the opportunity to work on another challenge, the Shelf Discovery Challenge (see my post about this challenge here). In this challenge, one revisits books and authors that defined our youth and teen years. These tend to be short books – perfect for a read-a-thon!

Book 5 of the Sookie Stackhouse mystery-romance-vampire series is a bit different from the preceding four books. Throughout most of this book, everyone is irritated with one another. And yes, even vampires, werewolves, and pretty girls all get crabby. I love this: just like real life!

Sookie Stackhouse is a 26-year-old small town waitress/barmaid working in Merlotte’s bar in Bon Temps, Louisiana. She has broken up with her vampire boyfriend Bill, and is ticked off at her potential werewolf boyfriend Alcid. She’s a bit wary of her werepanther suitor Calvin, and is even annoyed at her weredog boss, Sam. And she’s worried about her brother Jason, who was bitten by a (different) werepanther and is now facing his first full moon.

Meanwhile, someone is shooting were-shifters, and both Calvin and Sam get shot. Although she is not a shifter, as a friend of them, Sookie is targeted too.

The werewolves have their own problems, since their packmaster died, and they must pick a new leader: Alcid’s dad is in the running. Alcid expects Sookie to help his dad somehow, but she gets distracted by the weretiger, Quinn.

And the vampires have their usual political struggles and fights against those who seek to drain vampires of their blood to sell on the black market (“bloodheads”).

Bill has been in the bar where Sookie works with a new (and attractive!) human, and Eric, Bill’s boss, is still trying to find out what went on with him and Sookie when he lost his memory and stayed at her house.

So everyone’s in a bad mood. I love it!

Best quote: Sookie’s brother Jason (normally a big party-hardy sort of guy) comes back from his first full-moon experience as a were-creature, and Sookie fixes him breakfast. He takes one look at it, and goes into the bathroom to throw up. Sookie asks:

‘Are you okay?’ I asked, not sure if he would be able to answer or not. I poured the coffee into a mug. ‘Yes,’ he said after a moment, as though he’d had to think about it. ‘That was the most incredible experience of my life.’ For a second, I thought he meant throwing up in my bathroom, but that was sure no new experience for Jason…..”

Evaluation: This isn’t the best of the series so far (read: no sex) but still, it’s great fun, and if you’ve read the previous books you’re so in love with the characters you just like following their story. And in this book, you get sense of some of what distinguishes Harris from the writers of more mundane romance books: have you ever heard of one in which there is no sex, and everyone is ticked off at everyone else? There is more to Harris as a writer than you might think. If you haven’t started this series yet, you are so missing out!

Rating: 3.9/5

We have THREE WINNERS of “A Dog Among Diplomats”:

Staci
Mary in H.B.
Mozi Esmes Mommy

I will be emailing you for your mailing addresses to send to the dog Randolph.

Imagine this: your biggest problem for the day is not whether to clean the bathrooms or how to get your errands done but this: what do I wear to go to a nightclub for supernaturals frequented by vampires so I can find out (by reading minds while I’m there) who kidnapped my vampire boyfriend?

I know that sounds ridiculous, but books about the waitress/barmaid Sookie Stackhouse are delightfully addictive: Sookie is endearing (just ask the two vampires and two shape-changers who are vying for her affections!), the author has a fantastic feel for humor in absurdity, and the romantic moments have just the right mix of tenderness, lust, and realism.

This is book 3 of the mystery-vampire-romance series featuring sassy Sookie, now 26, who works by day and hangs out with vampires by night. In Club Dead, Sookie’s boyfriend Bill has gotten so involved in playing on the computer he seems to have lost interest in her, and then he disappears. His vampire boss Eric arranges for the werewolf Alcide Herveaux to help Sookie find Bill. Alcide turns out to be a “big rough man” who eats real food (as opposed to drinking blood)! Sookie is somewhat smitten. (Okay, when there’s a full moon he eats raw animals on the hoof, but that’s just a once-a-month thing.)

Alcide has a vicious ex-girlfriend Debbie who resents Sookie and who still has an emotional hold on Alcide. She throws a lot of obstacles in Sookie’s path. And “sinister and sexy” Eric is getting more attached to Sookie, although, as he tells her, “I don’t like having feelings.” Will Sookie rescue Bill? Will Acide dump Debbie for Sookie? Who will Sookie choose? All these flying hormones will keep you glued to your reading chair!

Evaluation: These books are like the candy you can’t stop eating. When I’m not stopping to laugh out loud, I’m whipping through the pages and having a rip-roaring good time.

Rating: 4/5

Husband Progress Report: Still married to me, even though I am now an addicted aficionado of books involving supernaturals. And so far, his only response to my accusatory question, “Why aren’t YOU a vampire?” is the same one he gives to “Why didn’t YOU empty the dishwasher?,” i.e.: “Gee, that never occurred to me!”

FTC disclaimer: I was out of orange juice, so I decided I needed to buy some not at the grocery store but at Target (where they just happen to have a great book section), whereupon I slunk immediately to said book section, bought this book, and slunk out, forgetting the orange juice!

Ti of the blog Book Chatter is sponsoring a challenge, which starts today, to read the classic Moby Dick. We happen to have the unabridged audiodisks for this book, which my husband listened to and loved (see his review here). So I thought I would join Ti and listen along with her and the other readers. On Mondays, we’ll be posting about our progress. If you’re interested, you can also stop in at the other participating blogs to see how our posts compare. It’s a small group, consisting of Ti, me, and three more: Jill of Fizzythoughts, Claire of Kiss A Cloud, and Toni of A Circle of Books.

I’ll be listening (in the car) to 18 CDs read, no, acted, by Frank Muller. I’ve heard the first couple chapters now, and I must say, while listening I feel as if I have been transported to a dark theater hearing a thrilling performance. So far, it’s everything my husband claimed it to be. And I can also tell that had I been reading the same material in a book, I would have become bogged down in dictionaries and pronunciation guides and googling classical references and feeling overwhelmed. Instead, when I turn on the CD, I’m enveloped in the magical tale being spun by the book’s narrator Ishmael. Even though the streets are full of snowbirds who have forgotten their way around, cell phone dialers, and other menaces to my sanity, I can’t wait to go out for my next drive and resume the tale!

Note: No spoilers are contained in this review.

Truly there were moments reading this book when my heart was beating so hard I thought it might jump right out of my chest!

This is Volume 3 of the Millennium Series, published posthumously after the sudden death of the author in November, 2004. Originally, there were to be ten books in this series, and with each book, one mourns more deeply the loss of such a talented writer.

Volume 3 is divided into large sections, and the introduction to each contains a vignette about females who have fought in wars. And that sums up broadly the focus of this book of the series: women warriors. Indeed, it might even be read as a tribute to women and their strengths: sometimes dependent and trusting; brave and resilient when tried; loyal and loving when vindicated.

Like the previous books, the beginning of this one is very complex; I kept a notepad to keep track of the characters. (Similar to the first book in the series and of course, to real life, you don’t know at first who of these myriad people will prove to be important later in the story.) I would hate to try to comprehend what was going on without having had the advantage of reading the other two first.

Even with all the background we have to absorb in the beginning, the suspense and excitement begin right away.

We continue with the same characters as in previous books: Mikael Blovkvist, the crusading journalist who probably served as an alter-ego for the author; Erika Berger, his co-worker and occasional lover; and Lisbeth Salander, the girl with the dragon tattoo.

Mikael is obsessed with social justice, “loyal to the point of foolhardiness once he had made someone a friend,” but “completely irresponsible when it comes to relationships.” That is, it never seems to occur to him that a woman could get emotionally involved and become deeply hurt when he moved on to someone else.

Erika has had a relationship with Mikael for twenty-some years, although she remains married to a man she loves. She is a strong, tough editor and is greatly admired by women, grudgingly so by men.

Lisbeth, the undoubted star of the series, is 27, small, slight, and goth-looking, and is being labeled in the press as “a psychopath, a murderer, and a lesbian Satanist.” She has powerful friends who know better – who know that she has been systematically abused and used as a scapegoat – when in fact she is justifiably distrustful, brilliant, resourceful, and admittedly not the sort of person you would want to cross. But her enemies are even more powerful, and include not only actual psychopaths, but a secret section of the Swedish equivalent of the CIA.

The author, through Mikael Blomkvist, has quite a lot to say about violence against women, but he does so through the mechanism of his plot, so you get the message through the horror of the events he relates, rather than through gratuitous chatter by the characters. (Readers should beware, particularly in Volume One of this series, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, of some graphic scenes of abuse.) As Mikael says to his sister in Volume Three:

When it comes down to it, this story is not primarily about spies and secret government agencies; it’s about violence against women, and the men who enable it.”

And that is the heart and soul of this sensational series.

Evaluation: Each book in the series is better than its predecessor. Volume Three will have you not only racing through its 600 pages, but wishing it didn’t have to end. This is an intelligent, heart-racing, gut-wrenching series of books that shouldn’t be missed!

Rating: 4.8/5

Note: Unlike the first two books in this series, this volume is not yet available in the U.S. It can be ordered, however, at a discount with no shipping charges from the wonderful U.K. Book Depository.

Julie from Booking Mama and Kathy from Bermudaonion are hosting a virtual cookie swap for the upcoming holiday season.

Well, you know I can’t pass that up! Here’s the scoop from Bermudaonion:

For the next twelve days – hence the title The Twelve Days of Christmas Cookies – Julie and I will take turns posting some of our favorite cookie recipes. (We might even throw a surprise or two in there to make things more fun.) And then, on the Friday after Thanksgiving (November 27th), we want you to share some of your favorite cookie recipes with all of us. We will set up Mr. Linky’s on both of our blogs, and we ask that you link your cookie recipe blog posts to us. I will be hosting the traditional cookie recipes and Julie will be hosting the chocolate cookie and candy recipes.

To entice you to join us in our little Cookie Swap, we will both be giving out copies of The Christmas Cookie Club to two lucky participants who link their recipes to our blogs. That means that you can enter to win on both of our sites by linking a traditional cookie recipe to my blog and a chocolate treat to Julie’s. Don’t worry if you don’t have a blog — just leave your recipes in the comments section!

And to make things even “sweeter,” each of us will be giving one of our winners a BIG Cookie Prize Pack which includes one of the copies of The Christmas Cookie Club, a cookbook, and other cookie-related items. You’ll have through Thursday, December 3 to leave a link if you want to be eligible for a prize.

We’re hoping that a lot of our friends out there in the blogosphere will join us. Please think about what recipe you want to feature and help spread the word about not only the virtual cookie exchange but also some of the great prizes you can win! Make sure to check Julie’s blog tomorrow because she will be kicking off Day 1 of The 12 Days of Christmas Cookies with a very easy and very yummy treat!

Sounds great, doesn’t it? Stop at Julie’s and/or Kathy’s blog to sign up, check there each day for their recipes, and check back here on November 27th for recipes from Rhapsodyinbooks!

This is the second book in the Brother Cadfael mystery series, featuring an older Benedictine Monk who retired to the Abbey at Shrewsbury after a wild and eventful youth, and now spends his time peacefully in the Abbey’s herbarium. Or tries to: it seems there’s always a murder to be solved in 12th Century England, and Brother Cadfael is the man to do it.

This book takes place in the summer of 1138, during the war of succession for the crown of England between King Stephen and his cousin the Empress Maude. King Stephen holds Shrewsbury under siege, and he is seeking followers of his main opponents, William FitzAlan and Fulke Adeney. In particular, he wants to find the only daughter of Adeney – Godith – to hold for ransom in exchange for her father. He suspects she is hiding at the Abbey.

Meanwhile, Shrewsbury Castle falls to King Stephen, and the remaining 94 defenders are hanged. Brother Cadfael offers to help bury the bodies, and discovers one extra. Someone apparently tried to cover up a murder by adding an extra body to the pile. Brother Cadfael is determined to get to the bottom of it, and the King agrees. (The characters muse on the topsy-turvy morality of war that allows Stephen to collude in the killing of the 94, but be horrified by the killing of an additional man.)

As in the previous book, Brother Cadfael does not let his detective duties deter him from matchmaking. There is a lovely passage when two young people suddenly experience a difference in their regard for one another:

And talk they did… Each of them took up the thread from the other, as though handed it in a fixed and formal ceremony, like a favour in a dance. Even their voices had grown somehow alike, as if they matched tones without understanding that they did it. They had not the least idea, as yet, that they were in love.”

“Ah well,” Brother Cadfael muses, “these things are for the young.” (See my previous post about Brother Cadfael’s proclivity for fixing up people, in which I give you the lyrics for “Hello Young Lovers.”) These lyrics include the apt stanza:

Don’t cry young lovers, whatever you do,
Don’t cry because I’m alone;
All of my memories are happy tonight,
I’ve had a love of my own.
I’ve had a love of my own, like yours-
I’ve had a love of my own.”

Another wonderful passage in the book is an exchange between Brother Cadfael and Hugh Beringar, one of King Stephen’s soldiers about to engage in a duel to the death with his enemy, Adam Courcelle. Brother Cadfael asks Hugh if he will spend the night before in prayer:

‘I am not such a fool as all that,’ said Hugh reprovingly, and shook a finger at his friend. ‘For shame, Cadfael! You go to bed and sleep well, and rise fresh to the trial. And now I suppose you will insist on being my deputy and advocate to heaven?’

‘No,” said Cadfael grudgingly. ‘I shall sleep, and get up only when the bell rings for me. Am I to have less faith than an impudent heathen like you?’

Still, Cadfael worries to himself about the outcome of the duel:

‘The trouble with me,’ he thought unhappily, ‘is that I have been about the world long enough to know that God’s plans for us, however infallibly good, may not take the form that we expect and demand. And I find an immense potential for rebellion in this old heart, if God, for no matter what perfect end, choose to take Hugh Beringar out of this world and leave Adam Courcelle in it.’”

Evaluation: This second book in the Brother Cadfael series is a marked improvement over the first. Characters have more depth, and if the murderer is not so well hidden to readers, the process by which the characters get there is an enjoyable one. And like the first, there are two pairs of lovers that find fulfillment thanks to Brother Cadfael. Sad in a way, but also sweet, and entertaining.

Rating: 3.8/5

With every book in this romance-mystery-vampire series, Harris ups the ratio of supernaturals to humans, and yet, it doesn’t feel over the top. And in this book, in which we encounter both “good” and “evil” witches, the author uses her trademark humor tinged with pathos to emphasize the necessity for judging group members as individuals, rather than by resorting to stereotypes.

Dead to the World continues the adventures of Sookie Stackhouse, a 26-year-old hottie waitress/barmaid in Bon Temps, Louisiana. She has just broken up with her vampire boyfriend Bill, and she runs into Bill’s powerful boss Eric, who is disoriented and has lost his memory. It turns out that area witches put a hex on him. Moreoever, they want to drain his blood, since a vial of blood from a vampire as old as Eric can fetch up to $500 on the black market. (Drinkers of vampire blood gain strength, attractiveness, and healthiness, but the effects are temporary, so the practice quickly becomes addictive. Vampires victimized by “drainers” run the risk of being weakened and left to die when the sun comes up.) It takes a boatload of vampires, werewolves, witches, and even a fairy – plus Sookie, of course – to put the situation to rights.

Eric, whom we previously knew as “sinister and sexy” is now vulnerable and sexy, and he’s staying with Sookie who is protecting him. But she needs protection herself from her awakened sexuality, now lying dormant since her breakup with Bill.

Meanwhile, Sookie’s brother Jason has gone missing. Is he, too, a victim of the witches? One flips through the book with addicted bated breath! Will Sookie succumb to Eric? Will the hex be broken? Will Bill try to get Sookie back?

Favorite Anecdote: Sookie is being comforted by Alcide Herveaux, a big manly guy who is also a werewolf. Sookie reports:

Since his shirt wasn’t buttoned, I found my face pressed against his warm chest, and I was glad to be there. The curly black hair did smell faintly of dog, true, but otherwise I was comforted at being hugged and cherished.”

Husband Report: He hasn’t been talking to me lately about law and economics. He seems to assume my brain has turned into a quivering mass of unthinking jelly. Why didn’t I think of this years ago?!!! (ha ha)

Evaluation: Come on! You know you want to read these books!

Rating: 4/5

FTC Disclaimer: We were in Barnes & Noble, and against my better judgment I picked up this volume and started reading. When it was time to leave, I had to know what would happen! What else was a person to do but buy it?

We have THREE WINNERS of “A Dog About Town”:

Tina (tbranco)
Jenners
Julie H.

I will be emailing you for your mailing addresses to send on to the dog Randolph.

On this Veterans Day let us take a moment to appreciate The Dogs of War.

Therapy Dogs in Iraq, USA Today, 12/12/07

1776: Newfoundland dogs served as messengers during the Revolutionary War

1865: During the Civil War, dogs were used as messengers, guards, and mascots

1884: The German Army established the first organized Military School for training war dogs at Lechernich, near Berlin

1898: Dogs served as scouts in the jungles of Cuba in the Spanish-American War

1914: Dogs served as messengers between trenches in World War I

1965: Some 3-4,000 scout and sentry dogs served in Vietnam

1991: During the Gulf War, the U.S. used 88 teams of dogs to guard and protect their troops, supplies and aircraft.

2009: Some 2,000 dogs serve GIs in the Middle East, mostly sniffing for explosives.

U.S. Air Force dog atop an M2A3 Bradley in Iraq, 2007

Sources:

K-9 History: The Dogs of War

The United States War Dogs Association

U.S. Army Quartermaster Foundation

Military Working Dog Adoptions (find out how to adopt a retired military dog, known for being “brave, heroic, loyal and noble.”)

Fifty-seven year old Welshman Brother Cadfael is a “squat, barrel-chested, bandy-legged” Benedictine monk in the 12th Century at the Abbey of Shrewsbury. He came to the monastery late in life after an action-packed youth that included a stint in the Crusades. The Abbey is a sort of retirement for him, and he works in the herbarium. There he is assisted by “the youngsters” Brother John and Brother Columbanus, only two years tonsured.

The Abbey Administrator, Prior Robert, ambitious and vain, is seeking some saintly relics (at that time they were considered as good as penicillin for what ailed you) to add to the glory of himself as well as the Abbey. Thus, he looks toward Wales, “where it was well known that holy men and women had been common as mushrooms in autumn…”

After a vision by Brother Columbanus, they settle on Winifred of Gwytherin in Wales, and the Abbot sends out a delegation to get her bones. Brother Cadfael goes along as an interpreter. In Gwytherin, the primary opponent of moving the saint, Rhisiart, is murdered, and Brother Cadfael helps solve the crime with the assistance of Sioned, the beautiful daughter of the murdered man.

When Brother Cadfael isn’t solving mysteries, he’s playing matchmaker, helping various young people find love and happiness. This process is assisted by his sense of humor, a wry religious realism, and a generosity of spirit. In addition, he alludes to memories of happiness with women as a young man, so you get a strong image of Anna in “The King and I,” looking out at the starry night and singing:

Hello young lovers, whoever you are,
I hope your troubles are few.
All my good wishes go with you tonight,
I’ve been in love like you.

Be brave, young lovers, and follow your star,
Be brave and faithful and true,
Cling very close to each other tonight.
I’ve been in love like you.

I know how it feels to have wings on your heels,
And to fly down the street in a trance.
You fly down a street on the chance that you meet,
And you meet — not really by chance.

Don’t cry young lovers, whatever you do,
Don’t cry because I’m alone;
All of my memories are happy tonight,
I’ve had a love of my own.
I’ve had a love of my own, like yours-
I’ve had a love of my own.”

Evaluation: This is a book one might call cozy-historical. It’s pleasant enough, although it’s a bit like drinking lite beer. The mystery is fairly obvious, and the characters aren’t fully fleshed out: what we learn about them is pretty much on a need-to-know basis. Still, you get some interesting insights into 12th Century England and Wales, especially into the religious life, and the story is not without its charms. It provides an enjoyable way to pass some time, although to be honest, the next book in the series is better. I would say this first book is one in which Peters sets out the premises of the series, lays some background, and tests her stride. You don’t need to read it to keep going in the series, but you won’t regret reading it, either.

Rating: 3/5

I can’t tell you how long I resisted reading this “book with the funny title.” Wrong yet again! All that time I missed out on this heartwarming valentine to books and reading, and wonderful paean to hope and love.

The fictional literary society of the title was formed of necessity to outwit the Germans during their World War II occupation of Guernsey in the Channel Islands, strategically located between Britain and France. A group of friends got caught socializing after curfew and one of their more enterprising number came up with the Society as an excuse. The Germans appeared interested, and so the friends kept it up just in case the enemy should drop in for “meetings,” which indeed they did.

Subsequently, the lives of all members were transformed by the books they read. Their correspondence with one author in particular, Juliet Ashton (whose letters, notes, and telegrams form the core of the book), changes them all yet again, after Juliet can’t resist coming to Guernsey to meet the people who have been writing to her and learning more about them.

Some of the books discussed and the characters who read them include:

Evaluation: Don’t let the quirky title of this lovely book, told in epistolary form, dissuade you from picking it up. You will enter an charming and inspirational world of bravery, hope, survival, literature, and above all, love.

Rating: 4.8/5

Note to readers: This review is part of my ongoing series, “Probable Last Person in the Universe to Have Read This Book.”

Catching Fire is the “sequel” to The Hunger Games, although it’s really more of a continuation. I wouldn’t have wanted to read the second book without having read the first. But having read the first, I had to read the second, and having finished that one now too, I share the same anticipation of most of the YA world for the third one, yet to be published.

This supposed trilogy [can the author really stop at three after all the hoopla (read: income) surrounding these books?] centers on Katniss Everdeen, a young girl now age 17 in book two, who lives in constant fear that the evil government of Panem will hurt the ones she loves to punish her for inciting resistance throughout the country.

Panem is a dystopic descendant of the United States, divided into twelve districts and ruled with an iron glove. The government tries to inflame internecine conflict among the districts in the age-old strategy of keeping subjects divided in order to maintain control over them. But Katniss, unbeknownst even to herself, changes everything, and threatens to bring the hegemony of the Capitol to an end.

Katniss is idealistic, naïve, loving, brave, loyal, and apparently quite attractive, although to the author’s credit, she dwells on the character of Katniss much more than on her appearance. There are two young men in love with her, and each seems too good to be true, but let’s face it, who cares?

There’s lots of kissing in this book, but nothing more physically, and not even any bad language! Okay, there are brutal murders, but no one curses while committing them!

Evaluation: This is a must read for those who have read The Hunger Games, but it might be a bit confusing if you haven’t. I would agree with the reviews asserting that this book is not quite as good as the first, but it isn’t relevant: after you finish the first book, you are too sucked in not to want to read the second book!

Rating: 4/5

FTC Disclaimer: I won this book along with a pin and a t-shirt but the t-shirt is too small for me so it doesn’t count!

Note to readers: This review is part of my ongoing series, “Probable Last Person in the Universe to Have Read This Book.”